Beginnings

Beginning stories is usually easy for me. Ending stories is usually easy for me. The middles are not bad either. But after all the sharpening is done before anyone but me sees it--what I call the "first draft," the part that I find that I usually need to revise the most is the beginning.

It seems to me that the beginning should be the part that needs the most revision. Even though I generally have a plan for writing, I have the least information about the eventual shape of the story at the beginning. By the end, I know how just about everything works. I wrote about one of these processes before.

The Bryton Wyld story has had the most beginnings so far, surely because I had the Bryton character before I had any idea about the story. By the end of the story, I knew what the meaning was, but then I needed to close the loop--back at the beginning before I knew what the story meant.

Here is the first beginning. I still like it. It has conflict, it gets you into the corrupt city where people are stealing and getting shaken down and violence is always lurking.

But the story ends up being about Bryton finding that he will live in the city, but not fully be of the city. He finds a limit as to how much of his soul he will sell--whether he would cheapen his love for someone who rejected him in order to sell herself to the highest bidder. I discussed that here--sort of.

After knowing the ending, I needed a new beginning that showed Bryton actually wanting the things that he ends up valuing above all in the end.

Here was what I came up with.

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As Bryton negotiated Godsway’s big curve, his eyes were dazzled; in the morning sun, the white and gold statue of Eleir looked as if she had come to life, standing over the doorway to her house of worship. She had the muscles of a blacksmith, but she was all woman. How did they do that?

Traffic had parted ahead, so Bryton pulled ma’s handcart faster, barely avoiding a gigantic pile of horse manure. “There’s no horses on Godsway,” he grumbled. As he righted himself, his forehead bumped into something metallic and reeking. The handcart’s momentum shoved him into it.

Cue the first beginning with Tak and swords and blood.

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Today, upon reflection, I thought that the statue should not be the woman, but a more realized symbol of what Bryton wanted. And I decided to contrast more sharply, with a scene and not just two images, the purity of Bryton's ideals (statue) and the corruption of his environment (manure on the road). Here it is.

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“Porp, there’s no percentage in cutting purses,” Bryton told him under the chattering, calling, and chanting on the cobbled street between the gods’ houses. “Don’t take cheap risks--we’re not kids anymore.” Bryton pulled Ma’s handcart along Godsway and Porp tagged along, scanning the crowd.

“Ha! Jemmin cuts purses. You saying she’s a kid?”

“She’s perfect, so there’s no risk. Look, get away from me. If you get caught near me, I can’t run. Ma’s tapestry is worth way too much for me to abandon.”

As Bryton negotiated Godsway’s curve, the white and gold statues of Telor and Scyntella appeared as if they had come to life, standing over the doorways of their twin houses of worship. Porp smacked Bryton on the back of the head, knocking his floppy black hat over his eyes. Porp said, “You stopped in the street.”

Behind the cart, someone screamed, “Move!” And a messenger kid shoved Bryton and groused, “This is a street, not a pig farm!”

“Really original!” Bryton called after him.

The sight of the gleaming husband and wife had absorbed Bryton. Embarrassing. He tugged the cart into motion and said, “Go cut your purses somewhere else, Lord Porp.”

“Daydream somewhere else!” Porp laughed and sifted into the crowd.

Bryton pulled ma’s handcart faster, barely avoiding a gigantic pile of horse manure. “There’s no horses on Godsway,” he grumbled. As he righted himself, his forehead bumped into something metallic and reeking. The handcart’s momentum shoved him into it.

Cue the first beginning with Tak and swords and blood.

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The imagery--statue/manure is separated so much that it is less meaningful. But we do have conflict and the corruption revealed and Bryton not happy with some aspect of that corruption. I think this is a step forward. I am not sure it is the final step.